Following your dreams is never easy. But
think about the regrets you’d have if
you reached the end of your life without
having tried.
Rule 1: Let Go of Your Limited
Beliefs
As a young boy, I started out life
believing that I was a failure because I
had let my mother down. The truth of the
matter was, I was just a little boy!
What could I have done? In those days,
there were no 911 operators to call. In
order to become successful, I had to let
go of the belief that I was a failure,
and I had to replace it with a positive
affirmation: I loved my mother and I had
done the best I could. What is your
limited belief about yourself? Write it
down on a sheet of paper, and then
counter that belief with something
positive. You may have ten of them, and
you might just have one. Use the model
below.
- Limited belief
- Positive affirmation
Once you do this, hang the sheet of
paper where you can see it every day. In
combination with the mirror exercise,
continue to remind yourself about all of
your positive attributes until you
really believe them!
Rule 2: Let Go of the Past
This step may take some time and
patience, but it is a necessary step if
you want to move forward and create the
type of life you are dreaming of.
On a very hot summer day I attended a
seminar that forced me to deal with the
feelings I had for my father. Boy, did I
feel the heat. I hadn’t seen him in
decades, and I had only one memory of
him: the dreadful night when he tried to
kill my mother. I had never been to his
grave, and before that day I didn’t even
care. This seminar changed everything,
though. I was now compelled to meet my
father. I called my sister the next day,
and she mailed me the location of the
place where my dad had been buried in
Homestead, Florida.
With some encouragement from some very
good friends, I bought a ticket to
Homestead. I had never been there, and I
had no idea what to expect. I was
admittedly very scared and very nervous
about making the trip. It was a long
trip to my past so that I could confront
the father I never knew and I could ask
the question, Why?
The day I was due to leave, I had my
friends take me to the airport just to
make sure I actually got on the flight.
I was afraid I would chicken out if I
didn’t have someone to hold me
accountable. When the moment came, and I
was on my way to Florida to face my
past, I knew there was no going forward
until I was able to deal with the
haunting questions I needed to ask. When
I arrived, it the air was oppressively
humid. I was tired because I had taken a
red-eye and traveled all night. But the
fear and excitement kept my adrenaline
pumping. I looked at a map and saw that
the cemetery was a 45-minute drive
south. For a split-second, I thought
about taking the car back and getting on
the plane back to L.A. Instead I moved
forward. What happened that day would
change my life forever.
I pulled into the cemetery parking lot.
There was one problem. How would I find
my father in this huge place? I sat in
the car with tears welling up in my eyes
wondering what to do. Suddenly there was
a man at my window. In an authoritative
voice he asked, “May I help you, son?” I
almost rubbed my eyes like a
disbelieving cartoon character. There,
standing in front of me, was the priest
who worked at the grounds chapel. I
identified him as a priest because he
wore a white clerical collar and a black
suit. It just so happened that he was
there meeting with a family. The fact
that he was a priest gave me great
comfort. I looked at him like the
five-year old boy I’d once been who’d
lost his father. “I’m looking for my
daddy. Can you help me?” I managed. He
smiled warmly. “Of course, son,” he
replied. Then he led me to the office so
the clerk could look up the name.
After some time she located his plot and
asked me if I wanted help finding his
grave, and then walked me there. It
seemed like hours had passed as we
crossed the grass; in reality, it was
only minutes. I decided to wait before I
approached the gravesite. The kind woman
told me where I could find her if I
needed anything and left me for some
private time.
It took me a while to gather my courage.
Thirty minutes later, I took the first
step. Soon I was reading his name: John
Victor Gutierrez.
I just stared, and then I began to
cry—the tears of a lost little boy.
Standing there, I was five years old
again, and I let my emotions and
questions pour forth: “Where were you
when I needed you most?” I whispered.
Then my voice got louder. “Why the hell
were you so mean to my mother?” I sat
down, suddenly exhausted. Then it
happened; the moment that changed
everything. All of a sudden, I realized
that I had become the man that I’d
always wanted to be. There I was, a
grown man. I dried my tears and I just
talked to my dad as if he was right
there listening. I told him how proud he
would be.
Time had stopped for me, and then I
realized that I had come on this long
journey not to find my dad but to find
myself. The tears flowed again as all
those years of hate turned to love. My
pain dissipated and I forgave him, and
in that forgiveness I forgave myself as
well.
I pulled the vase off of his gravestone
and I dusted it off. I wanted to leave
him better than I had found him. I had
passed a Wal-Mart on the way, so I got
in my car, went to the store, and bought
him some silk flowers so that he would
always have them. As I was leaving the
store, I looked over to my right and saw
a brightly colored bird on a stick with
wings that rotated in the wind. I smiled
inside and bought the bird, too.
I drove back to the cemetery filled with
excitement over my profound discovery of
forgiveness, but that wasn’t the last
surprise of the day. I returned to his
grave and placed the flowers in the
vase. The day had been very still, with
no wind at all, but when I put the bird
in the vase, as soon as I let go, the
wind picked up and the wings on the bird
began to “fly.” In the quiet cemetery,
the only sound I heard was that of the
bird’s wings. I smiled and said, “I hear
you, Daddy.” It was as if he was saying,
“I’m proud of you, son,” something I had
longed to hear for so many, many years.
For the first time in my life, I was
glad that he had been born. For if he
hadn’t, neither would I! Everyone has a
purpose on this earth, and I believe his
was to have three children: me, my
brother, and my sister. I realized in
that moment that his life echoed through
me. It was now my purpose on this earth
to change lives. He would always live
through me.
I flew back the next morning. As I was
reading the paper, I realized that the
day before had been Father’s Day. It had
escaped my mind completely. I silently
cried again as the plane taxied down the
runway, taking me back to Los Angeles a
changed man. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad,”
I prayed.
Letting go of the past breaks the chains
that bind us. It frees us so that we can
find the true purpose of our lives. What
are you harboring in your past? Isn’t
time you let it go? In the space below,
write down the things from your past
that keep you from stepping into your
greatness.
Rule 3: Take Charge of Your Thinking
If you say to yourself, “I can’t,” then
you’re right. If you say to yourself, “I
can,” you’re also right! The power of
thought is so immense it can direct the
course of your life.
Many times we find ourselves in places
that are undesirable, and we wonder how
we got there. I would say that our
thoughts have a lot to do with it. Our
internal dialogue plays an essential
role in our pursuit of success,
determining not only our ability to
reach success but to keep it.
What you say to yourself dictates your
future.
I was asked by a friend to read the book
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
When I saw the book title I
automatically said to myself, “What a
scam! No one can think and grow rich!”
As a result of that thinking, I decided
not to take my friend’s advice. Later,
down the road, when I was going through
some tough times. I was desperate to try
anything that would get me out of the
funk I was in. I remembered the book my
friend had mentioned, and I went and
bought it. It was the best $5.95 I ever
spent, and I still read it on a monthly
basis.
What I learned was: We do have the power
of thought. It is the one thing that
separates us from animals and the one
thing that separates us from our fellow
man.
Here’s an example: In 2002, I was
invited to attend a business gala in Los
Angeles. I was very excited to be
included in such a prestigious event,
which was held at the Century City
Westin Plaza Hotel. I asked my
girlfriend to attend with me, and she
put on her best dress, while I donned a
fancy black tuxedo. Off I went, with the
idea that I would meet people who would
surely further my career. That
excitement was quashed when we arrived
and were assigned table 56. I looked
everywhere for table 56. When I finally
found it, it was tucked so far back in
the room it might as well have been in
the kitchen. My seat actually abutted
the back wall.
As we sat down, my date said, “I guess
you aren’t as important as you thought.”
I could have let the comment ruin my
night, but I didn’t. Instead I looked at
the other couple at the table and I
said, “Do you know that you are sitting
at the most important table in the
room?” They looked at me as if I’d lost
my mind. I wasn’t done, though. “Mark my
words. The next time I am in this room,
I will be the master of ceremonies!”
They just smiled warily, probably hoping
I’d shut up. That night George Lopez and
Selma Hayek entertained us, and we
enjoyed a nice dinner.
Two years later, I received a letter
from that same business organization
asking me to be a master of ceremonies
for their next event! As I read the
letter, I leaned back and remembered the
comment I’d made to those incredulous
strangers.
On the night of the event, the lights
were dimmed and the energy was high. As
our host announced that Daniel Gutierrez
would be the master of ceremonies, I
stepped on stage and looked at the table
at the back of the room where I’d been
seated before and smiled to myself. I’d
done it; I’d made my dreams come true
.
EXERCISE: YOUR INTERNAL DIALOGUE
In the spaces below, write down the
internal dialogue you have regarding the
five areas of your life indicated. Next,
write down a new, more positive internal
dialogue. This exercise will make you
more aware of your thoughts and will
allow you to make changes toward
creating the success you seek.
- Personal
- Work/Career
- Education
- Relationships
- Financial
You need to pay diligent attention to
your internal dialogue. When a thought
comes into your mind that is not in
alignment with what you really want, you
must stop immediately and veto that
thought. Change it before it takes over!
This takes practice, so don’t give up!
Rule 4: Let Go of Your Need to Be
Right
We can all have what we want if we can
let go of what we think something is
“supposed” to look like.
When I was producing Imagine 2002, one
of the things I had to do was to let go
of being right about what the event was
supposed to look like. I needed to learn
to be more flexible—to change what I had
in my mind in order to get what I
wanted.
Sometimes we hang on to our beliefs so
tightly that our need to be right
becomes more important than the actual
results we are looking for. Our
businesses, our dreams, and our
relationships with others need room to
modify and grow. Allow them that
freedom!
Take a look at the different areas in
your life. Are you getting the results
you are looking for? If not, is the
problem that your need to be right is
overriding everything else?
Below, write down the things you
perceive as “right.” Then, after some
thought, write down ways you can
compromise and expand your horizons.
EXERCISE: LETTING GO
- Personal
- Work/Career
- Education
- Relationships
- Financial
Rule 5: Be the Cause of Your Life
We live in a world where we want
everything brought to us. It’s as if we
sit back in our chairs and expect life
to “do us” instead of “us doing life.”
In order for you to reach the level of
success that you desire, you must get
off the couch and be the cause of your
life. In other words, it’s up to YOU to
make things happen. So many people like
to say, “When this happens, I will do
so-and-so, and when that happens, I’ll
do x, y, and z. Then they wonder why the
world is not coming to them.
This world operates on universal laws,
one being that action creates an equal
or opposite reaction. If you sit on your
couch waiting all day for the phone to
ring, what will you get? Your house
repossessed! If there is no action in
your life, you must create it yourself.
When I decided that I was going to run
that 880-yard race in high school, I
didn’t wait for the coach to ask. I took
it upon myself to get the right shoes
and jump right in. When I decided that I
wanted to finance the Mexican nationals
in my Best Buy store, I didn’t wait for
someone to ask me. Instead, I began
researching and I began moving toward my
goal.
If you have an idea you want to bring to
market, do it! If you want to attend a
particular school but have not been
asked, apply! If you want to date more,
then start asking more people! Take some
risks! Self-leadership requires that we
be willing to create and attract the
things that are not coming to us. What
are you waiting for?
Rule 6: Be Committed to Your Dreams
We always get what we are committed to.
Can you remember the last time you
really wanted something and got it? It
was because you really were committed to
that goal. When we are committed to our
goals, we will stop at nothing. If we
are not committed, any hurdle that comes
our way will deter us. In other words,
life isn’t a hobby—it’s a commitment.
EXERCISE: GOALS AND COMMITMENT
Make a list of all the goals you have
reached because you were committed to
your dreams. I was committed to having
the Imagine 2002 event happen no matter
what the sacrifice was. All of us have
goals we have reached that took
commitment. Look at the list and rate
yourself from 1 to10 on the level of
commitment you had to get to your goal.
You will find in that list the answer to
reaching your goals and stepping into
your greatness.
Rule 7: Associate with Positive
People
This one never ceases to amaze me.
People will complain about the company
they keep, and then they keep going back
to the same crowd. We must consistently
surround ourselves with people who
support our dreams and goals, and we
must let go of those who cannot.
I have a system I call purging. Once a
month, I go through my business cards
and relationships and I toss out any
that aren’t working for me or for them.
In other words, you must take a look at
your relationships and identify people
who, for the most part, waste your time
and energy. Purge those individuals or
companies! Stop trying to pursue them.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak to
those contacts again; it simply means
that you should stop wasting valuable
effort. Then look for new relationships
to replace the ones you have ended.
I had a friend come to me once when I
was upset. I had complained to him about
new friends and business partners I was
pursuing. He looked at me and said,
“Daniel, I have known you for a long
time, and I have been through thick and
thin with you. Am I not a good friend?”
I replied, “Of course, you’re a great
friend. But there is a difference in the
way you support me. You support me where
I’m at, and they support me in where I
want to go. I need people to support me
in my greatness.”
Sometimes, it is even our friends and
family that we need to be able to let go
of in order to get to where we need to
go. To this day, my family doesn’t
understand everything I do. That’s okay!
I love them anyway, and I keep on
reaching for my goals so that the entire
world can benefit from my desire to
inspire and motivate.
Self-leadership is about taking personal
responsibility and making necessary
changes in your life. It’s about
thinking outside the box, examining your
interior, purging what holds you back,
and never saying never.
I was sitting next to a man that had
just heard me speak at a conference, and
he said “You know, Daniel, I was
thinking about these people in our lives
that really just really bring us down
and thought of my barber. I hate going
to him. He is complaining all day long
about life. Yet I find myself going to
him every six weeks! I realized today
when you talked about purging that I
could find another barber to go to.”
We all have people like this in our
lives. I encourage you to make a list of
all the people in your life that you
interact with in your personal life and
in business. Take a hard look at these
people and decide whether they need to
be purged and a new relationship be put
in their place. Remember that successful
people do what unsuccessful people are
not willing to do.
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Dan's Blog
Dan Gutierrez's Bio
Daniel Gutierrez
is an International Business Consultant,
Motivational Speaker, and Author of Stepping Into
Greatness: Success Is Up To You. Leveraging his
experience, his infectious humor, and his deep
belief that there is greatness in each of us has
transformed businesses and individuals all over the
world. His appeal breaks the boundaries of
profession, culture, and age. Mr. Gutierrez travels
the world extensively for speaking engagements to
Fortune 500 companies and individuals alike,
inspiring them to stay focused and achieve their
dreams. In 2006 he was listed in Latin Business
Magazine’s “Top 100 Hispanics” along with along with
other extraordinary individuals: Edward James Olmos,
Oscar De La Hoya, Los Angeles Mayor; Antonio
Villaraigosa; Talk Show Host; Cristina Saralegui,
and CNN’s Soldedad O’Brien.
Daniel Gutierrez is a renowned motivational speaker
who has inspired Fortune 500 companies and
individuals world-wide to make positive changes that
lead to success. When Daniel Gutierrez steps on
stage, he delivers his own life changing strategies,
helping you them to harness their thoughts and
improve productivity. He knows that many times in
our business world we lose focus, and we become
disconnected of our true intentions. Mr. Gutierrez
has profoundly impacted the lives of corporate
executives & entrepreneurs, nonprofit organizations,
multicultural communities, and youth. As a certified
seminar leader and practitioner of neuro-linguistic
programming, his motivational power to change
attitudes and bring clarity to the future gets
results.
In his book Stepping Into Greatness: Success Is Up
to You his methods of success and real-life stories
remind you of your own aspirations. Mr. Gutierrez
believes that the best way he can serve is to help
his listeners follow their passions and become
wealthy. “There is no power in our country without
economic power. When you have economic power then
you have the ability to create change from a
different level.” His psyche and techniques have
inspired individuals all over the world to commit to
their dreams. His view is that we are bound to get
results no matter what we do, so why not focus on
getting better results? Mr. Gutierrez’s belief that
there is greatness in each of us comes from the
heart.
This compelling presenter is also the founder of
Pinnacle Achievement Group International, LLC
creating/brokering business relationships in the
global marketplace. Daniel Gutierrez brings a wealth
of personal and professional experience training
business leaders on a local, national, and
international level. Daniel Gutierrez is a respected
political advisor and most recently assisted
President-Elect Felipe Calderon in facilitating
outreach to the U.S. media and business community.
While he travels world-wide extensively, in his
home-town of Los Angeles, he is sought after in many
areas of leadership.
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